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Stumble upon kappachan blog and read an interesting post about creative writing initiated by fajarjasmin to write based on a song picked from the list of 100 songs. So I decided to tag along and write something. Song that I pick is Losing My Religion by REM. First time I heard this song when it was played on a TV series Class of ’96, aired sometime in the 90s.

[That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough]

And ever since, this song always be part of my journey in life. I had my share of ups and downs. I am blessed with the gift that God has granted me throughout my life. So I can be at this place and time of good fortune. But sometimes bad luck seems to follow every now and then.

This year, for me is a complete mix of those ups and downs. At the beginning of the year, I have a new place to work, and probably not many of my friends have the same opportunity to work overseas. Living in the comfort zone. And to put cherry on the topping, I also planned for having my own family. New job, new life and my own family. Seems more of dream come true.

Everything went well for the first three months or so, getting ready for the big day, until life suddenly hits the rough path. The ride is no longer a walk in the park. And it became from worse to worst, when life had to make a sharp turn. Taking the toll of me, my life, and my family.

Interestingly, God as in the divine one, is a very fluid concept. We tend to forget HIM in our glory days, but we blame HIM for every bad things that happen to our life. We asked HIM, GOD why would you do this to me? These are tests, questions of faith, and how you cope with them. To put it into extreme, when people coping with their problems in life, those questions of faith, there could be only two sides. Those who closer to HIM and those who completely lost their faith.

I was nearly there, losing my faith. I was so mad to God for what has happened. I blame Him for the bad situation in my life. For a price I and my family have to pay. But then I realized, where was I during the happy times in my life? Did I ever remember to worship and say grace to Him when the ride was as easy as a walk in the park? Or is it His way of reminding me? Or is it His way of saying, the time will come, no, not yet my son?

Well, I guess that’s what made life is a wonderful journey. Those ups and downs are there to make us stronger. To question our faith. For us to never stop hoping and believing. In the end everything will be ok, in time everything will be beautiful. There, I’ve said it all.

[Every whisper
Of every waking hour
I’m choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded old, fool
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I’ve said it all

– End –

This post is inspired by R.E.M’s Losing My Religion. I am tagging Nindha and Marie to write something based on the list of 100 songs by fajarjasmin. I know you guys have a great appreciation in music. You can find the list and instruction here. Happy writing guys.


One Comment

  1. How true…. Indeed, let’s question our faith every now and then. When done honestly, we can grow stronger in it 🙂

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  1. […] shared his struggles with faith in his post on REM’s “Losing My […]

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